the "I wanna's"

I guess life can either bring you up or take you down.
Some days it feels im playing both sides of the game.
Difference is I never know my opponents next move.
Getting stuck in every direction I seem to choose..
Feels as if life’s a mad maze with no way out, no end.
A roller coaster ride with too many twist and turns.

I wanna run away far from here, sit alone until times dead.
But I wanna stay close by, surrounded by those I believe I love.
See the controversy here?

I wanna be free, to go anywhere in this here world of mine.
But I wanna be told what to do, and when its safe to breathe.

I wanna never love again, no boy is worth a broken heart.
But I wanna fall in love, and have my one and only for myself.

I wanna live my life to the fullest, to be oh so happy every day.
But I wanna die as fast as I can, heaven sounds so good to me.

I wanna skip my current life, all the way to when my hair is white.
But I wanna stay a child, all play no work with a world unexplored.
See the controversy here?

I wanna cry so much, to let it all out to show the world a real tear.
But I wanna laugh so much, to show the world im the happiest girl.

I wanna believe in everything, to think that everything is really good.
But I wanna doubt everything, to know for sure what is really true.

I wanna give up, telling myself all of this is worthless forget to dream.
But I wanna pursue it all, telling myself to just keep trying ill get there.

I wanna know my future, how wonderful it would be not to wonder.
But I wanna a surprise, how boring life would be not to wonder it all.
See the controversy here?